There are two things kids love, jokes and adventures. If you combine the two things, you can pretty much make any kid happy. Kids jokes may not always make everyone laugh, but they are not meant to. They are meant to make kids laugh; that is why it is called a kid pirate joke. So, give a little giggle and help a kid out. Adventures are what kids dreams are made of. They daydream all day about doing things they can’t do in reality. Their imagination is in overdrive and they come up with all sorts of crazy stuff.

What is more adventurous, though, then a pirate? They sailed the seven seas and searched for gold, no wonder there are so many pirate jokes for kids. Kids love pirates so much that pirate themes have become a kind of like a birthday meme, spreading everywhere to so many kids parties. This list is a compilation of all the good pirate jokes for children, let’s take a look.

Funny Pirate Jokes

These are just some generally funny pirate jokes that you can tell any kid anywhere. They are not my favorite ones, but they are definitely pleasers for both boys and girls alike. Break them out at the beach like a true pirate, or you know, at one of those many pirate-themed parties. Pirate jokes at a pirate-themed party? You are sure to be the most popular guest there. The kids will love you and think you are hilarious! So takes notes here. Write them on a piece of paper, take them down in the notes on your phone. Whatever you do, make sure you have them somewhere to use for later!

Why don’t pirates shower before they walk the plank?

Because they’ll just wash up on shore later.

What did the pirate say when his wooden leg froze?

Shiver me timbers!

What kind of socks does a pirate wear?  


How much does it cost for a pirate to get his ears pierced?

A buccaneer.

Why was it so hard to call the pirate on the phone?

Because he left the phone off the hook.

Why is pirating so addictive?

They say once ye lose yer first hand, ye get hooked!

What was the pirate’s girlfriend called?


Why didn’t the pirate go to the movies? 

Because it was rated AAAAARGH

Why can’t pirates learn the alphabet?

Because they spend years at “C”!

Why do pirates love Thanksgiving?

That get to carrrrrve the turkey.

How do pirates know that they are pirates?

They think, therefore they ARRRR!!!!!

When does a pirate get a new ship?

When it’s on sail!

What’s a pirate’s favorite letter of the alphabet?  


What did one pirate say to the other?

“I sea you!”

Why instrument did the pirate play in his band?

The guitarrrrrr.

Why are pirates called pirates?

They just arrrrrgh!

What has 8 legs, 8 arms, and 8 eyes?

8 pirates.

Why was the pirate good at basketball?

He had a great hook shot!

What are pirate’s afraid of?


Why couldn’t the pirate crew play cards?

Because the captain was standing on the deck!

Why did the pirate like playing golf?

He was always under parrrrrrr.

How much did the pirate pay for his hook and peg leg?

An arm and a leg!

What did the ocean say to the pirate?

Nothing, it just waved.

Where do pirate’s park their ships? 


What did the pirate say when he turned 80?


Happy Birthday Pirate Meme

There are a lot of ways to say happy birthday, but what better way than a pirate birthday meme! Kids nowadays love memes and kids have always loved pirates. So, what could be better than combining these two awesome things and making a pirate birthday joke? Nothing! Break this out and make your little pirate pay attention, they will love this birthday meme and share it with all of their friends! They will think you are the funniest person ever to give this meme to your kid!

Good Pirate Jokes

This is where all of the best funny pirate jokes come in! Of course, we saved the best ones for last. These are the pirate jokes that will make you the biggest star with any kid. If you tell these to them, they will be cracking up and begging for some more funny jokes! So, make sure that you try and memorize all of these pirate jokes so that you have them at your ready whenever you need them. You never know when the time may arise for a funny pirate joke, so you always have to be prepared!

What’s the difference between a hungry pirate and a drunken pirate?

One has a rumbling tummy, and the other’s a tumbling rummy.

What’s a pirate’s favorite food? 


What exercise do pirates use to tighten their abs?


What is a pirate’s favorite country?


Why did the pirate go on vacation?

For arrrrrgh and arrrrrgh!

What grades did the pirate get in school?

High C’s!

What do you call a pirate with two eyes and two legs?

A rookie!

Why are pirates great singers?

They can hit the high C’s!

Why did the pirate move to Russia?

To become a Czarrrrrrr.

Which two football teams played in the pirate superbowl?

The Seahawks and the Bucaneers.

What was the pirate’s favorite school subject?


What do pirates eat on cold winter nights?

Hearrrrrrrrrty stews.

What was the pirate’s favorite U.S state?


What did a pirate pay for his corn?

A buccaneer!

Why didn’t the pirate get hungry on the desert island?

Because of the sand-which is there!

What does a dyslexic pirate say?


What’s a pirate’s favorite movie?

Booty and the Beast.

Why did the pirate go to acting school?

He wanted a parrrrrrt in the new Pirates of the Caribbean movie.

Where do pirates put their trash?

The Garrrrrrrrrrrbage can.

What is a pirates favorite color?


What do they call a pirate who skips school?

Captain Hooky

What do pirates order at Italian restaurants?

Chicken Parrrrrmesan with spaghetti.

What do you call a pirate’s hair style?

A crew cut

Which restaurant did the bucaneer go out to for dinner?

Long John Silver’s.

There you have it, the best possible list of every pirate joke you could ever want to tell to kids. This list is complete and you will not need to look anywhere else. We promise! Print this list out and take it with you any time you are going to be around kids. These jokes are absolutely perfect for kids birthday parties, family parties and even when you are just having a play date with your kid and one of your friend’s kids. You can even let your kid in on the secret and tell them some of these jokes. Then they can go to school and tell all of their friends all of the jokes that they have learned from you!

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