150+ Halloween Jokes for Kids (Clean, Silly, Not Scary)
Halloween for kids is the silly kind of spooky, not the scary kind. These jokes keep it light: pumpkins with big grins, ghosts who just want to say boo, witches who lose their brooms, and candy nobody wants to split. They are short, clean, and made to say out loud at the door, in the car, or over a bowl of candy corn.
We sorted them so you can grab the right one fast. The first batches go by age, from the easiest giggles for little ones to cleverer jokes for big kids, then a pile of knock-knock jokes and riddles to guess. After that you can browse by theme. Down at the bottom there is a quick how-to for telling a joke so it lands, plus a tiny recipe for making up your own.
Why don't skeletons fight each other? They don't have the guts.
Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance? He had no body to go with.
Why are ghosts such bad liars? Because you can see right through them.
What do birds say on Halloween? Trick or tweet!
How do you fix a broken jack-o'-lantern? With a pumpkin patch.
Why do witches wear name tags? So they know which witch is which.
What do ghosts use to wash their hair? Sham-boo.
What do you call a witch who lives at the beach? A sand-witch.
Knock, knock. / Who's there? / Boo. / Boo who? / Don't cry, it's only a joke!
How do you make a skeleton laugh? Tickle its funny bone.
Easiest giggles (ages 3-5)
1-15What does one ghost say to another ghost? Boo!
What do ghosts eat for breakfast? Boo-berries on toast.
What do birds say on Halloween? Trick or tweet!
What is a ghost's favorite fruit? Boo-berries.
What do you call a chubby pumpkin? A plumpkin.
What do you call a witch who lives at the beach? A sand-witch.
What kind of pants do ghosts wear? Boo-jeans.
What do ghosts wear when it rains? Boo-ts.
Why did the jack-o-lantern sit on the porch? It wanted to hang out with its glow buddies.
How does a friendly ghost say goodbye? Have a boo-tiful day!
What does a panda ghost eat? Bam-BOO!
What is a ghost's favorite game? Hide-and-shriek.
What do you call a little ghost's mistake? A boo-boo.
What kind of music do mummies like? Wrap music.
What do you call a pumpkin that lifts weights? Pumpkin iron.
Just-right jokes (ages 6-8)
16-35Why don't skeletons fight each other? They don't have the guts.
Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance? He had no body to go with.
Why are ghosts such bad liars? Because you can see right through them.
How do you fix a broken jack-o'-lantern? With a pumpkin patch.
What do you give a hungry ghost for lunch? A boo-logna sandwich.
Why do witches wear name tags? So they know which witch is which.
What is a skeleton's favorite instrument? The sax-a-bone.
Who do monsters buy their cookies from? Ghoul scouts.
Why was the little broom late for school? It overswept.
Why did the zombie stay home from school? He felt rotten.
What room does a ghost never need? A living room.
What fruit do scarecrows love most? Straw-berries.
What do ghosts use to wash their hair? Sham-boo.
Where does Dracula keep his money? In a blood bank.
What is a vampire's favorite holiday? Fangs-giving.
What do skeletons say before they eat? Bone appetit!
Why don't mummies take vacations? They are afraid to unwind.
What is a witch's favorite subject at school? Spelling.
What do you get if you cross a snowman and a vampire? Frostbite.
What has hundreds of ears but cannot hear a thing? A cornfield.
Clever jokes for big kids (ages 9+)
36-53What do you call a vampire who lives in a kitchen? Count Spatula.
What is a vampire's favorite part of the newspaper? The horror-scope.
What do you call a witch's garage? A broom closet.
Why do mummies make great employees? They keep everything under wraps.
What is a zombie's favorite kind of bean? A human bean.
What do you call a haunted chicken? A poultry-geist.
What is a ghost's favorite band? The Rolling Bones.
Why did the skeleton cross the road? To get to the body shop.
What do you call a monster who loves pranks? Prankenstein.
What do you call a zombie who writes music? A decomposer.
How do you fix a torn Halloween costume? With a pumpkin patch.
Why don't skeletons use cell phones? They have no body to call.
Why are vampires like false teeth? They both come out at night.
What did the skeleton say on his motorcycle? I'm bone to be wild!
What is a skeleton's favorite board game? Tibial Pursuit.
Why did the witch switch to an electric broom? She wanted to go green.
What do you call an older monster who hates jokes? A groan-up.
Why did the ghost become a comedian? He was dying to make people laugh.
Halloween knock-knock jokes
54-69Knock, knock. / Who's there? / Boo. / Boo who? / Don't cry, it's only a joke!
Knock, knock. / Who's there? / Witches. / Witches who? / Witches the way to the candy bowl?
Knock, knock. / Who's there? / Fangs. / Fangs who? / Fangs for opening the door!
Knock, knock. / Who's there? / Howl. / Howl who? / Howl you know if you never open up?
Knock, knock. / Who's there? / Olive. / Olive who? / Olive the pumpkins are carved already!
Knock, knock. / Who's there? / Candy. / Candy who? / Candy door open? My hands are full of treats!
Knock, knock. / Who's there? / Wanda. / Wanda who? / Wanda go trick-or-treating with me?
Knock, knock. / Who's there? / Bat. / Bat who? / Bat you can't guess my costume!
Knock, knock. / Who's there? / Phillip. / Phillip who? / Phillip my bag with candy, please!
Knock, knock. / Who's there? / Dewey. / Dewey who? / Dewey really have to wear a costume?
Knock, knock. / Who's there? / Hominy. / Hominy who? / Hominy pieces of candy can I have?
Knock, knock. / Who's there? / Ghost. / Ghost who? / Ghost to show you I can tell a joke!
Knock, knock. / Who's there? / Wendy. / Wendy who? / Wendy witch flies by, wave hello!
Knock, knock. / Who's there? / Ima. / Ima who? / Ima ghost, so let me in before I vanish!
Knock, knock. / Who's there? / Spider. / Spider who? / Spider the dark, I still went trick-or-treating!
Knock, knock. / Who's there? / Scare. / Scare who? / Scare-y to see you, happy Halloween!
Spooky riddles to guess
70-87I am tall when I am new and short when I am old, and I glow inside a jack-o'-lantern. What am I? A candle.
I have a neck but no head. What am I? A bottle.
What has a single eye but cannot see a thing? A needle.
The more you take away, the bigger I get. What am I? A hole.
What has many teeth but never bites? A comb.
What runs but never walks, has a bed but never sleeps, and a mouth but never eats? A river.
I am a ball you cannot throw or kick. What am I? An eyeball.
How many months have 28 days? All of them.
What has three feet but cannot walk? A yardstick.
A witch's bus picks up riders all night. What color are the driver's eyes? Whatever color yours are, because you are the driver.
Count Dracula's mother had three children: Lucius, Matilda, and who? Count Dracula.
You can spell ghost G-H-O-S-T. Can you spell it without a G? T-H-A-T.
Which is heavier, a pound of candy corn or a pound of pumpkins? They weigh exactly the same.
I have five fingers but am never alive. What am I? A glove.
I have a tail but no body. What am I? A coin.
I once had eyes and a brain, but now I am empty. What am I? A skull.
A haunted house has 13 ghosts, and all but four float away. How many are left? Four.
I have a straight back and sharp teeth. What am I? A saw.
Ghost jokes
88-99What is a ghost's favorite nursery rhyme? Little Boo Peep.
Why do ghosts love parties? They have a lot of spirit.
Why don't ghosts like rain? It dampens their spirits.
What did one ghost say to the other? Do you believe in people?
What is a ghost's favorite street? A dead end.
Where do baby ghosts go during the day? Day-scare.
What is a ghost's favorite pie? Boo-berry.
How do ghosts stay in shape? They exorcise every morning.
What is a ghost's favorite color? Boo-lue.
What do you call a ghost with a broken leg? A hobblin' goblin.
What did the ghost say to the skeleton? I'm dying to meet you!
What is a ghost's favorite tree? A ceme-tree.
Skeleton jokes
100-109How do you make a skeleton laugh? Tickle its funny bone.
Why was the skeleton so lonely? He had no body.
Why did the skeleton go to the barbecue? To get a spare rib.
What do you call a skeleton who will not get out of bed? Lazy bones.
Why do skeletons stay so calm? Nothing gets under their skin.
How do skeletons send their mail? By the bony express.
Why did the skeleton stay out in the snow? He was chilled to the bone.
What is a skeleton's favorite snack? A cinna-bone.
Why did the skeleton go to school? To bone up on his studies.
Why don't skeletons play music in church? They have no organs.
Witch and vampire jokes
110-121How does a witch tell the time? With her witch watch.
Why did the witch go to the doctor? She had a dizzy spell.
What do owls say on Halloween? Happy Owl-o-ween.
How does a witch keep her hair up? With scare-spray.
Why did Dracula go to the doctor? He could not stop coffin.
What is Dracula's favorite ice cream flavor? Vein-illa.
What kind of dog does a vampire keep? A blood hound.
Why don't vampires have many friends? They are a pain in the neck.
What is a vampire's favorite fruit? A neck-tarine.
How does a vampire get around town? By blood vessel.
What is a witch's favorite ride at the fair? The scary-go-round.
What do you call two witches who live together? Spell-mates.
Monster, mummy, and zombie jokes
122-133Why did the monster eat a light bulb? He wanted a light snack.
What do you call a monster who loves to dance? The boogie monster.
How do you greet a three-headed monster? Hello, hello, hello!
What does a mummy do to relax? It unwinds.
Why did the mummy go to the doctor? He was feeling a bit under-wrapped.
What is a zombie's favorite cereal? Rice Creepies.
Why did the zombie go to school? To improve his dead-ucation.
What do you call a zombie who loves to cook? A dead chef.
What is a werewolf's favorite holiday? Howl-oween.
What do you get if you cross a werewolf and a clock? Lots of ticks.
What kind of car does Frankenstein's monster drive? A monster truck.
Why was there thunder in the lab? Frankenstein was really wired.
Pumpkin and jack-o'-lantern jokes
134-143Why was the jack-o'-lantern afraid? It had no guts.
What do you get when you drop a pumpkin? Squash.
What did one pumpkin say to the other? You are looking gourd-geous.
What is a pumpkin's favorite sport? Squash.
Why did the pumpkin cross the road? To get back to the pumpkin patch.
What do you call a pumpkin that guards the pool? A life-gourd.
What did the pumpkin say to the carver? Cut it out!
What did the pumpkin say after a huge meal? I am totally stuffed.
Why did the scarecrow win an award? He was outstanding in his field.
What do you call a big round pumpkin? A plump-o'-lantern.
Candy, critters, and trick-or-treat jokes
144-153Why did the candy go to school? It wanted to be a smartie.
What candy is never on time for a party? Choco-late.
What do you call two spiders who just got married? Newlywebs.
What do spiders order with their burgers? French flies.
What is a bat's favorite sport? Bat-minton.
Why did the bird wear a costume? It wanted to say trick-or-tweet.
Why did the candy bar do its homework? It wanted to be a smartie.
What did the candy bar say at the door? Twix or treats!
Why was the broom late for trick-or-treating? It over-swept.
What is a scarecrow's favorite snack? Corn on the cob.
Make your own Halloween joke
Kids remember a joke better when they help build it. Pick a spooky thing, find a word that sounds like part of another word, and glue them together. Here is the little recipe we use.
| Start with | The twist | Example |
|---|---|---|
| A spooky character (ghost, witch, skeleton, vampire) | A normal word that hides a spooky sound | boo hidden inside beautiful gives you boo-tiful |
| A food or everyday object | Swap one sound for a spooky one | sandwich becomes sand-witch for a witch at the beach |
| A question your kid can picture | Answer with the silliest version that still makes sense | Why don't skeletons fight? They don't have the guts |
Two rules keep it kid-friendly: the pun has to use a word your kid already knows, and the whole thing stays silly, never scary.
Halloween jokes for kids FAQ
The best ones are short, clean, and silly instead of scary. Question-and-answer jokes like "Why are ghosts such bad liars? Because you can see right through them" work great because kids can picture the answer and repeat it all night.
The list runs from easiest to cleverest. Ages 3 to 5 do best with simple sound jokes like boo-berries. Ages 6 to 8 love the classic question-and-answer kind. Big kids 9 and up enjoy the wordplay ones where the pun takes a second to click.
Yes. Every joke here is classroom-safe and leans silly, not spooky. There is no gore and nothing creepy, so you can read any of them out loud without reading ahead first.
A joke gives you the punchline right away for a quick laugh. A riddle is a puzzle you guess first, then the answer pays it off. We kept a batch of riddles together so kids can stump a grown-up before telling the answer.
Say the setup clearly, pause for a beat so everyone wonders, then deliver the punchline with a smile. For knock-knock jokes, let the other person say "who's there" and "who" before you hit the last line.
Halloween grew out of the ancient Celtic festival of Samhain and the Christian eve of All Hallows' Day on November 1. October 31 became known as All Hallows' Eve, which got shortened to Halloween. (Source: Encyclopaedia Britannica.)
When a joke flops (and that's fine)
A joke falls flat for simple reasons. It can be too scary for a little one, so keep the youngest kids on the sound jokes. The pun can lean on a word your kid does not know yet, like coffin for coughing, so a quick "coffin sounds like coughing" fixes it. And any joke dies on the fortieth repeat, so rotate them. If one lands, that is the keeper.
Reading these out loud
Little kids follow your face more than your words. Slow down on the setup, let your eyes go wide at the pause, then grin on the punchline. If they laugh, do not explain it. If they do not, move to the next one and nobody notices.