By Kate Frogs! What animal has been made fun of more throughout the world? They are not the prettiest; they are really kind of weird; they croak. They are slimy, all they can do is hop around, and they live on little green pads in ponds and lakes. How can you not make fun of these poor animals when Kermit the frog is their most famous example? He is a puppet who dates a puppet pig. I mean, really! He is one funny frog, I admit. It is no wonder, though, that there are tons of frog jokes out there. From frog puns to frog knock-knock jokes, there is no shortage of frog jokes out there. Even all of those princes who got turned into a frog by some evil witch will not be able to help but laugh at these frog jokes!
New Frog Puns
There are so many frog puns out there! Really, who knew that there could possibly be so many puns and jokes about a little green animal? I took some of the newest frog puns and combined them with all the other frog puns I know. This list is a definite way to make any kid laugh. Break this out at a French restaurant when you are eating some frog legs or at any party, and they will be a hit!
Why are frogs so good at basketball?
Because they always make jump shots.
Why are frogs so happy?
Because they eat whatever bugs them.
What do frogs do with paper?
Rip-it
What did the frog say as he looked through the books at the library?
Reddit! Reddit! Reddit!
What’s a frog’s favorite game?
Croak-et.
What do frogs drink?
Croak-a-cola.
What’s a frog’s favorite candy?
Lollihops.
Waiter, waiter, do you have frog legs?
No, I always walk this way.
What’s the difference between a cat and a frog?
A cat has nine lives, but a frog croaks every night.
Why did the frog make so many mistakes?
It jumped to the wrong conclusions.
What do stylish frogs wear?
Jumpsuits.
What kind of music do frogs listen to?
Hip hop.
What kind of music do sophisticated frogs listen to?
Hopera.
What do you get when you cross a snake and a frog?
A jump rope.
Where do you get frog’s eggs?
At the spawn shop.
What do you call a frog with no back legs?
Unhoppy.
What’s a frog’s favorite flower?
A croakus.
What goes dot-dot-croak, dot-dash-croak?
Morse toad.
What do you get when you cross a frog with a rabbit?
A bunny ribbit.
What’s green and can jump a mile a minute?
A frog with hiccups.
What do you call a woman with a frog on her head?
Lily.
What do you get if you cross a frog and a dog?
A croaker spaniel.
What did the frog dress up as on Halloween?
A prince.
What does a frog order in McDonald’s?
French flies and a diet croak.
What do you get when you cross an alligator and a poison frog?
A croakadile.
What jumps up and down in front of a car?
Froglights.
What did the bus driver say to the frog?
Hop on.
Did you hear about the short-sighted frog?
He had to go to the Hopthalmologist.
What’s the preferred car of frogs?
The Beetle.
What do you call a frog spy?
A croak and dagger agent.
Why did the tadpole feel lonely?
Because he was newt to the area.
What is a frog’s favorite time?
Leap year.
What do you call a talking frog?
A quantum leap.
How does a frog pick his favorite baseball team?
He jumps on the bandwagon.
Where do frogs leave their hats and coats?
In the croakroom.
Why did the frog go to the bank with a gun?
He wanted to robbit.
Which frog has horns?
A bull frog.
What do headmasters and bullfrogs have in common?
Both have big heads that consist mostly of mouth!
What happens when two frogs collide?
They get tongue tied.
What kind of pole is short and floppy?
A tadpole.
What’s green with red spots?
A frog with the chicken pox.
Kermit the Frog Funny Jokes
Kermit the frog is definitely the most famous frog there ever was. He rose to fame in the Muppets and became a superstar frog. He came from a lowly pond and achieved stardom. What a great story for a little green frog! Anyway, what happens when you become famous? There are a lot of jokes about you, and Kermit is no exception. Here are some of the best ones.
What do you get if you cross a frog with some mist?
Kermit the Fog.
When I was younger, I dressed up as a frog and robbed a bank.
That was the first time that I Kerm-itted a crime.
What do Winnie the Pooh and Kermit the frog have in common?
The same middle name.
What did Kermit the frog say when he got to the top of the hill?
A muppet
How do frogs die?
They Kermit suicide
What do you call Kanye dressed as Kermit?
I don’t know, but it’s not Yeezy being green.
What’s green and only appears once every 76 years?
Halley’s Kermit.
What did Kermit the frog say at Jim Henson’s funeral?
Nothing.
Funny Frog Memes
With plenty of memes on the internet, it is no wonder that there are a ton of frog memes. Frogs might not be the first thing that comes to mind when you think of funny memes, but let me assure you, there are some seriously funny memes about frogs. From dirty frog jokes to toad jokes, there’s a meme for it.
Toad Puns
Yes, there are even toad jokes. Toads, you know, are those cousins of frogs that give you warts if you touch them. They’ve really gotten a bad rap. They may not be as cute as frogs, but they are definitely just as funny. Here are some really great toad puns you can break out at any time and be sure to get a laugh.
What do you say if you meet a toad?
Wart’s new?
What kind of shoes do frogs wear?
Open toad sandals.
Why didn’t the frog park on the side of the road?
He was afraid of getting toad.
What do you call a frog hanging from the ceiling at Christmas?
Mistletoad.
What goes dot-dot-croak, dot-dash-croak?
Morse toad.
What do you get if cross a science fiction film with a toad?
Star Warts.
Wide-Mouthed Frog Joke
This is probably one of the most famous frog jokes that exists. Tell this with a lot of enthusiasm and there’s is no way people will not be laughing their heads off! The big-mouth frog joke never fails.
“There was once a wide-mouthed frog who decided to venture from his pond and go in search of friendship. He leapt off through the grass until he came across a large black and white stripey animal with a handsome mane and four spindly legs.
Wide-mouthed frog: (Stretch mouth out with fingers and adopt adorable frog voice) Hello, I’m a wide-mouthed frog. Who are you, and what do you eat?
Zebra: (normal mouth, slightly horsey voice) I’m a zebra, and I eat grasses and plants.
Wide-mouthed frog: (Stretch mouth out with fingers and adopt adorable frog voice) Oh, that’s nice.
He hopped off hoping to meet someone who would share his enthusiasm for eating insects. Eventually he came across an enormous bird with talons as pointy as knitting needles.
Wide-mouthed frog: (Stretch mouth out with fingers and adopt adorable frog voice) Hello! Who are you, and what do you eat?
Eagle: (normal mouth, squawky voice) I’m an eagle, and I eat little birds and mice.
Wide-mouthed frog: (Stretch mouth out with fingers and adopt adorable frog voice) Oh, that’s nice
The wide-mouthed frog wasn’t really so sure about that though, so he boinged away and continued to leap until he came across a bearded white animal with kind, curious eyes.
Wide-mouthed frog: (Stretch mouth out with fingers and adopt adorable frog voice) Hello! Who are you, and what do you eat?
Goat: (normal mouth, gruff voice) I’m a goat, and I’ll eat all sorts. I especially like shoes and old car tires though.
Wide-mouthed frog: (Stretch mouth out with fingers and adopt adorable frog voice) Oh, that’s nice!
The frog leapt away feeling slightly puzzled by the goat’s food choices, but he didn’t like to judge. He finally stopped when he came across a large, scaly green animal with lazy eyes and fearsome teeth.
Wide-mouthed frog: (Stretch mouth out with fingers and adopt adorable frog voice) Hello! Who are you, and what do you eat?
Alligator: (normal mouth, deep voice) I’m an alligator, and I eat wide-mouthed frogs.
Wide-mouthed frog: (turn mouth into very small ‘o’ and adopt high-pitched voice) Oh! How nice, you don’t see many of them around here, do you?”
Frog in a Blender Joke
This is a classic frog joke, sure to please any and all. It may not be exactly PG, so maybe save it for the older crowd.
What is green and red and goes around and around at 100 miles an hour?
A frog in a blender!
Norm Macdonald Frog Joke
Norm Macdonald is known for his very funny jokes and his hilarious standup. He is pretty famous and well-known as an eccentric, crazy guy. His frog joke that he tells is also hilarious!
“A frog walks into a small bank called Wack’s and approaches the owner, Patricia.
He says, ‘Hi, Patricia, my name is Ken Jagger, I’d like to take out a loan.’
Patricia say, ‘Please, call me Patty. You wouldn’t happen to be related to Mick Jagger, would you?’
Ken responds, ‘Yes, he’s my father.’
So Patricia tells him, ‘Well, if you want to take out a loan with us, you’ll need some collateral.’
And Ken pulls out a little figurine of a dog playing with a ball and places it on the counter. Patricia inspects the figurine for awhile and is a bit confused. So, she calls over a fellow employee to help sort it out.
Patricia tells the other employee, ‘This is Ken Jagger. He wanted to take out a loan and offered this as collateral, but I’m not sure what it is.’
The other employee inspects the figurine for a few seconds and says, ‘It’s a knick-knack, Patty Wack, give the frog a loan! His old man’s a Rolling Stone!’”
Dirty Jokes
Dirty frog jokes may not be the most popular frog jokes, but there are a few. Some of them are definitely not appropriate for everyone, so be careful who you tell these jokes in front of! With that being said, they are very funny.
What is the difference between a frog and a horny toad?
One says ribbit ribbit, and the other one says rub-it rub-it!
What does Kermit the frog’s finger smell like?
Bacon.
Frog jokes, as you can see, can be very funny! Use them wisely, and you will for sure get a lot of laughs.
